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Archive for July, 2017

There have been times in all of our lives when we have all wanted to say No but ended up agreeing and saying Yes instead. The results in many cases would have been disastrous. A failed relationship, loss of health, threat to life, loss of peace of mind etc. the list is endless.

The question is that why do we say Yes when we should be refusing. Most of us do feel morally obliged to agree because of various reasons. Primarily to get it over with or not stand out as a sore thumb or a rebel. We as a society are conditioned to fall in line regardless of the consequences. The freedom of self or the freedom to express ourselves is a concept alien to us, we are conditioned to kill our instincts, or our gut. We are brainwashed into believing that expressing yourself is wrong and should be avoided at any cost lest we stick out like a sore thumb. The ones that do express are called as rebels. Reminds me that when we were teachers used to tell us to “behave yourself” which actually meant shut up. Talk about contradiction 🙂

Let us say a person of authority asks us to do something, We know it is not right, and at our core we are dying to call out and refuse the task at hand, but then the conditioning kicks in, it tells us that if we disagree we stand to lose a lot many things including our jobs. But then we miss out on the core issue that the moment we overrode our gut feeling we compromised ourselves and our identity, we just fell in line like the other automatons around us.

Expressing your opinion or even yourself is illegal. The moment we agree to something that we do not want to , we cease to be ourselves. We hand over our reins to someone else and then begins the cycle of self deprecation, de-evolution and exploitation be it in a job, or in a relationship or in any aspect of your everyday  life. Which is why we see people ending their lives, or silently suffering abusive marriages and relationships they should not be in, or even exploitation, be it sexual or otherwise both in professional as well as personal life. Also health issues crop up as we end up bottling our feelings inside of us. There has to be an outlet and it comes in the form of ailments and psychological issue.

The remedy for this is pretty simple. Just 2 alphabets “No”. It makes your life simple and far less complicated and makes it easier for you to live with yourself. But for this the first step is self acceptance. Respect yourself, respect your choice and only then others will respect it. Nothing can be forced on you if you do not want it, neither a relationship nor a job or anything else. You will no longer need to be hard on yourself nor have to live with someone or deal with someone that you should be with or dealing with. Also with all the internal battles gone, you will have your peace of mind which will have a positive effect on your health too. A gentle push back is all that is needed. And remember, bullies back down when you stop and fight back. You just need to show the intent and the conviction.

Though the word “No” has a negative connotation, if used at the right time and in the right circumstance has the power to re/define your life.

You have the power, Use it wisely.

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